We moved to get away from relatives. Wow, it is kind of cathartic to just say that out in the open. I do not think we are the first couple to do that. My husband’s family and mine have a long history of being quite controlling, extremely nosy and a little too free with their so-called advice that is more like do-it-or-else orders. When we got married we were living in a small apartment and began looking for apartments for rent in Mission Viejo CA about a thousand miles away from what used to be home.
We have been together since elementary school. First as friends, and then we started the official dating. He proposed to me when we were both 12, and he was serious. I was serious when I responded with a very happy yes. We knew we could not get married then, but we hatched a plan to work hard in school, get any kind of college that we could, work to save some money, get married and live local until we could get jobs far away and move with the money we saved. We had some glitches in the plan as the years went by, but we stayed focused and were finally moving into ReNew at The Shops in California when we both turned 23.
Don’t get me wrong. Neither side of our family was what you would call abusive. There might have been a little of the verbal stuff but not much. There was never any of the physical stuff. They were just set in ways that were not who we are, but they could not accept that. It became a little toxic to us in succeeding and contributing to society, so we left. Both sides of our family were against the move, but we went anyway. We keep in touch with our parents and even make arrangements for holidays and send flowers and gifts for birthdays as well as Mother’s and Father’s Day.
It is just that they are 1000 miles away and we can enjoy our daily life and work in Mission Viejo, California. We have a great place with a nice modern kitchen, a private balcony, plenty of storage, and we have two dogs. They are like furry kids to us, and we are content with our little family of four without any of the negativity that seems to be such a big part of our family’s life back east.